The Box

How did I get in here?
Why can't I get out?
I don't know how I got here.
That I know without a doubt.

I've found myself in this box
All sealed up with extra strength tape
I can't see anything
There is no way to escape


What you have just witnessed are the thoughts that run through my mind. I must admit that I was in denial before, but now I know that I am battling with postpartum depression. I am the mother of 3 beautiful children. I like to call them my mini-motivators. Lately they have been all that I have to keep me going. They give me a reason to get up and do more than I feel like doing.

After talking to several different people about the best solution for fighting this beast, I realize that one thing that works for me is talking about the things that I am feeling. It also helps when I take a moment to write about all of the things I am grateful for.Another thing that helps is to go to the gym and work up a sweat.

What are some of the techniques that you use to get out of your dark places?

I have visions of myself driving off to a place where I can just be
But it’s impossible to escape the person I am running from….Me
It is me telling me that this is too much to bear
It is me telling me that no one understands or cares
It is me telling me that I am not doing enough
It is me telling me that I have to stay tough
It is me …It is me…it has always been me
So what do I tell me to get through this dark place?
So what do I tell me to bring a smile back to my face?
Whatever I am telling myself now is only making things worse
So it’s time to make moves…time to change my course
Let the battle Begin…

What about Me?

How many of you can relate to J. Hudson in the first 30 secs of this clip? I know I feel that way at times. I get so caught up in the day to day hustle and bustle of being wife, mommy, friend, CEO, stylist..that sometimes I forget about me.

Sometimes I have moments when I need a shoulder to cry on, but at times it seems as if no one has time to listen to me. So what do you do when you have those types of days?Do you crawl up in a fetal position in bed? Do you drink your issues away? Or do you try your best to ignore it?

I have learned that the best way to deal with it is to sit down with a pen and a journal, and face whatever the issue is head on. Then once I release it on paper, I let go and Let God.

As mothers and women, we need to try the best that we can to take moments to ourselves to get a clear head. If you have any tips on how to deal with days of frustations, I would love to hear from you.

TALKING DOESN'T HURT

I always thought that I was the only one
Being choked alive by anxiety
But I wasn't
It wasn't just me

I never would've known
Had I not picked up the phone
and expressed the pressure I felt on my dome

But I did
So glad that I did
Cause that was when I found out
that Talking doesn't Hurt

In fact it made me feel better
I felt 10 pounds lighter
The clouds went away
The Sun shined so much brighter

And to think I almost kept it all inside
But I am so glad that I decided to swallow my pride
So if you ever feel sad, anxious, or depressed
Talk to the Most High For he knows what's best

THE POWER OF TALKING

For years I have been holding on to some pinned up anger. I had no idea of where it came from. I prayed and asked God to help me with it. His response..." You need to purge.....Let go of some things".

To Purge:
a. To free from impurities; purify.
b. To remove (impurities and other elements) by or as if by cleansing.

I wasn't sure of where to start, but I knew that God would lead me in the right direction. That night I went to Bible Study, and Pastor discussed the importance of letting go and forgiving people for the wrong that they have done. That's when the light bulb came on...I had to learn how to forgive some of the people from my past that hurt me. So I reflected on it. At first I felt somewhat confused because I thought that I had resolved any issues that I had with former relationships. Then the Holy Spirit spoke and told me to think deeper. I had to talk to some folks that were closer than any friend....my family.

So the first person that I talked to was my Dad. I had to tell him everything that I had been wanting to say since I was a young girl. I thought that he would not receive it well, but he welcomed my feelings, thoughts, words with complete understanding. I was in utter disbelief. I thought that talking to my Dad would hurt, not only me, but him too. But it didn't. This is the first proof that talking doesn't hurt...

The next person that I had to talk to was my mother. I had been pacing all day wondering what I should say. So again I had to talk to God. He let me know that he would be there with me. So I talked to my mom, cried a little, and thanked God for the opportunity to heal form past hurt, but also the opportunity to help my mom release some of the things that she was holiong on to for over 20 years.This is the second proof that talking doesn't hurt...

I can honestly say that now that I have purged, I feel so much happier. I had to be real with myself, and realize that talking does not hurt. You hurt not only yourself, but others. The first step in healing ladies and gentleman...is talking. Talk to the Most High.....and ask him to give you the strength and guidance to heal any hurt, depression, pain, etc. that you may be holding on to.